Earning a life achievement award — from myself — at 42
[ SCENE: Inside a luxurious ballroom located in a corner of my brain where dreams and hope swirl with seldom gust, and next to one of those Taco Bell/Pizza Hut combination drive-thru locations. I’ve been asked to come to the stage and I’m partially blind from the lights revealing a spot from which I think I’m supposed to speak. There’s overwhelming applause, so loud that I can’t hear myself shout to anyone near me, “Is this where I’m supposed to stand?!?” I decide to start talking anyway to warm up my voice. ]
Wow! Thank you. Thank you so much. This is really too much. Seriously … I don’t do well with a large crowd clapping in my direction because it sounds like machine guns firing in an old movie set during Prohibition. But thank you.
It’s some kind of honor to be recognized this evening with this life achievement award. I was pretty stunned when I learned that I decided one weekend in February 2023 to just give myself this award. Seemed like an odd decision at the time, but as many of my friends, family and co-workers would affirm, I’m an odd guy.
It’s hard to determine what’s so special about recognition of any type nowadays. Honestly, I could be delivering this speech on TikTok wearing American flag parachute pants, an “I’m with Stupid” T-shirt and one of those glittery gloves Michael Jackson wore…
